on Sunday, November 29, 2009
Aku benci orang yang mengaturkan itu ini melibatkan aku tanpa pengetahuan aku!!!
hangin!!!!!!!!!!!!! *off topic*

AMARAN... ENTRY JIWANG..!!!
JANGAN BACA KALO ADA SIMPTOM LOYA
SEBAB AKAN BERAKHIR DENGAN MUNTAH YG TERUK
A.K.A HYPEREMESIS

Separuh jiwaku pergi
Memang indah semua
Tapi berakhir luka

Mesti korang da penah dengar lagu baru Anang, "Separuh jiwaku pergi". 1st verse lagu tu dah cukup untuk menggambarkan perasaan Anang terhadap perpisahan dia dengan KD. 1st time aku dengar lagu tu kat Hot.fm time on da way nak pegi keje. Sekali dengar pon dah bleh rasa 'rasa itu'. Macam Azhar Sulaiman DJ bersama Faizal menggantikan Farah Fauzana cakap pada hari tu bila dengar lagu ni boleh faham macam mana perasaan Anang. (sumthing like dat) Menghilangkan separuh jiwa yg derita memang akan berakhir dengan bahagia. Tak luak pape pon. Untung lagi ader la. Tenang je hidup. Tak de la berendam dengan air mata. Jiwa pon tak kacau.

Pengkhianatan yang diceritakan dalam lagu ni membawa aku ke lagu "Hey Ladies" nyanyian Rossa.

Hey ladies jangan mau di bilang lemah
Kita juga bisa menipu dan menduakan
Bila wanita sudah beraksi dunia hancur

Antara lagu favourite aku ni. Catchy!! Mana ada lagu yang cakap laki busuk!!! Lagu ni macam amaran untuk lelaki. Perempuan bisa buat apa saja. Jangan sesekali disakiti. Kalo sekali perempuan terluka dan bertindak, jangan cakap separuh jiwa lelaki yang hilang takut nanti nyawa pon hilang. muahaha.. Gler kentang 18SG.

uiiii.. Seksis ke aku ni?? Hahaha.. Tidak sama sekali. Aku tidak menyokong/membela perempuan ataupun antilelaki membuta tuli. Cuma aku nak share apa yang pernah ustazah aku cakap. Kalo relationship kita dengan orang lain bermasalah tak kira lah hubby/wife, parents, anak2, kawan2, jiran tetangga dll, check balik relationship kita dengan ALLAH. Di situ kita akan nampak punca segala. Jika baik hubungan kita dengan ALLAH, insyaAllah eloklah hubungan kita dengan orang lain.

Benar kita solat, cukup ke 5 waktu???
Benar cukup solat kita 5 waktu, tapi sempurnakah jika dilaksanakan hujung2 waktu??
Benar kita bersedekah, apakah ikhlas dengan menyebut2nya???
Benar kita ikhlas memberi, tapi apa cerita kalo kita dok berkira2 lps tu plak??

Sekali sekala muhasabah diri, merenung jalan hidup yg dipilih dapat membantu kita melihat diri. Try la.. =)

Kepada ilham anak mama, suruhan Allah dan RasulNya dah jelas. Tinggal nak ikut ke tak jek. Apa yang elok dari mama dengan papa ilham ikut. Apa yang tak elok yg ilham nampak kat mama ngan papa jauhkanlah. Sesungguhnya kami hamba yg lalai.
Semoga Allah merahmati dan melindungi suami, anak dan family aku. Aminnnnn...
on Thursday, November 26, 2009
Hal ni hanya disebabkan oleh sebijik burger!

Ahad malam yg lepas aku makan burger. Hv to admit dat burger 2 hari lps pny. But kept it properly in the fridge. Aku tengok elok jek lagik. So makan je lah. Tengok2 pagi Isnin tu aku diarrhea. Ingat kan besa jek. Tapi kat tmpt keje pon aku asik ulang alik gi toilet. Ada la dekat 5 kali in 5 hours. Last2 aku amek MC. Badan pon cam da lesu. Ingat nak baring jek. Staf kat situ bleh plak wat lawak cakap aku kena taun. Hissshh.. Hari ni hari keempat tapi still tak ok. But better sket. May be sebab minum vitagen.

Big prob nyer milk production menjunam sampai menyembah bumi. Aku dapat 6oz jek semalam. Cukup untuk 2 kali feeding plus ada stok 1 bekas so 3 bekas jek untuk ilham.!! Nak tak nak aku terpaksa la supply FM kat bbsitter. Fyi stok EBM aku licin sejak lepas raya ari tu. Sib baik sejak ilham start solid food dia consume 2.5oz x 5. Cukup la amount yg aku pam ari2 kat opis. Sedihhh..? Kalo sakit2 cani ingat mati jek. Kalo aku tak de sape nak jaga ilham. Kalo susu tak de bleh ikhtiar lagi untuk banyakkan. Kalo nyawa tak de???? Ya Allah. Mohon dipanjangkan usia hamba Mu yg tak de pape nih.

Semalam time kt opis risau jek fikir pasal ilham. Ok ke tak ngan FM. Masa ilham warded for 2 weeks after lahir dlu doc pnah try bagi FM. End up ilham muntah teruk siap bloating lagik. Time tu aku warded kat hospital kulim. Ilham plak kena transfer p hospital Alor Star sebab da tenat sangat. Sejarah berulang lagi. Bbsitter aku ckp ilham muntah lepas minum FM. Bbsitter aku buat sket jek 1 oz. Tapi dia still tak leh terima. Cian anak mama. Sori la sayang. Mama dah cuba. Hopefully bler mama da recover milk production pon akn balik ke normal. Sib baik esok cuti. Next week plak aku cuti seminggu sebab join family day opis hubby.

Perut sakit lagik. Still diarrhea. Kalo gi hospital takut plak kena warded. Aku nak raya!!!
on Sunday, November 22, 2009
Do you trust your intuition?

1st story..
Masa minggu ke 36 mengandungkan ilham aku ngan hubby nak balik kulim. Saja la nak balik hujung minggu kan. Konon2 last balik sebelum bersalin. Masa nak loading barang hubby tengok aku bawak balik bakul yang isi barang2 baby ngan aku. Ni bakul nak usung masuk hospital la kalo bersalin kan. Hubby cakap tak payah la since due aku lambat lagi, Almost 4 minggu lagik baru due. Aku berkeras jugak nak bawak balik bakul tu. Yer la. Mana tau kan. Terberanak masa kat Kulim tak ke kelam kabut nanti barang tak der. Tengok2 pagi Ahad tu ketuban da pecah. Malam tu pon aku bersalin.

2nd story..
Hari Khamis ari tu masa packing barang nak balik umah PIL, aku terdetik nak bawak balik 3 pasang baju kurung instead of two. Baju kurung ni untuk pegi kenduri hari Sabtu ngan Ahad. Aku terfikir nak bawak balik sepasang lagi baju kurung untuk pegi keje. Terfikir gak kalo2 kena stay umah PIL sampai isnin. Last2 bawak balik 2 pasang jek. Dengan harapan hari Ahad aku dah balik umah. So pegi keje dari umah aku jek. Guess what????????? Ilham demam campak halus. Merah habess muka ngan badan dier. Macam severe rashes. My FIL tak bagi balik lagi. Suruh kitorang stay sampai ilham okay. Goshhh.. It happen again!!! My intuition is true. Tapi aku buat bodoh jek dengan menafikan gerak hati aku. So esok pegi keje nak pakai baju per??? T-shirt dengan jeans???

So Ilham.. Life always like this. Unpredictable. Full of surprise. We have no choice. We have to face it. Mama berkorban perasaan mama untuk ilham (mendalam ni. Kalo ilham nak tau lebih detail kena tanya mama). This is not the 1st time. And it's not the last. Semoga Allah memberi kekuatan dan meminjamkan kesabaran itu buat mama. Aminnnn...
on Wednesday, November 18, 2009

As your child develops, he tends to get more choosy and picky about his food. Your little one may eagerly enjoy carrots one day and then reject them the next. Good news is this is a very normal behaviour and there are things you can do to manage this.

Set the environment
Sometimes, it’s not the food but the setting that makes a child unsettled and therefore fussy. Try to sit and eat together as a family (even though you may have to eat before or after you have fed your little one). This helps to create an environment of family togetherness.



Set the table with everything before you start your meal so you don’t have to keep leaving the table for things


Switch off all distractions that are nearby that might make your child want to come down from the high chair


Create an environment where the family eats together and share special moments


Lay out special fun cutlery and child proof bowls and plates that will make your child feel special about mealtime. Do not give your child too many utensils in case it becomes a distraction


Try to include your child in the conversations so that he is encouraged to eat well


Remember to be a good example for your child and stay at the table throughout!


Creative feeding
Sometimes, the food itself makes your child fussy. Here are other ways that might help your child to eat his meal and vegetables.



Cut them into smaller sizes. Don’t scare your child with big portions. Prepare them a different way


Variety! Mince the vegetable with chicken and make a chicken-ball


Don’t hurry him, especially with new food. Children play with their food because they are children and they are discovering! Don’t make it a bad experience to be at the dinner table


Let your child get messy. It’s more fun. Perhaps for your sanity, place newspapers on the floor surrounding the meal table and give your child his or her own plate, bowl and spoon


Eat what you are feeding your child as an example to them


Again, try not to force your child. While you determine what and when to feed your child, let him or her decide if your little one wants to and how much to eat


Be practical. If parents through the ages have all been having this challenge, it would be very highly unlikely that you will be the first in history to have the perfect eater.


“Taugeh” may not be your child’s favourite, but you can make it exciting to discover new foods while sharing
mealtimes together.


Be patient. It may take up to 10 to 15 tries and experimentation for your child to accept new foods or preparations.


Remember, you were once a child and hated your vegetables too!

An article from Nestle

For more information check HERE


Do you ever think about being a work at home mom (WAHM)??
Or you are a stay at home mom (SAHM) who want to do some business.
Here i want to share some interesting articles about this.
Do check it out...!!!

1) How To Become A Work At Home Mom (WAHM)

2) I Want To Be A Work At Home Mom


P/S: Another interesting contest at MOMBLOGGERSPLANET. How Do U Organize Your Bag Contest. The prize is sooooooo cool. It sponsored by Gin&Jacqie. Dont miss the chance to take part in this contest.

on Saturday, November 14, 2009
Ari Rabu ari tu (11/11/09) aku ngan papa dinner kat luar. Kat Putra Palace Hotel, Kangar. Ni la another surprise yang aku mention sebelum ni. (HERE)

Aku da plan benda ni lama dah since month ago. Tapi hari Isnin baru aku call untuk wat reservation. Nak tanya pasal price ngan menu. Then staf dier cakap nak wat confirmation on everything then akan call aku balik. Sangat kurang profesional sebab aku tunggu sampai hari rabu tapi dat person tak call balik. Hari Rabu aku call la nak tanya pasal ni. Tapi staf situ cakap tak der pon staf kat situ nama ****. So tak per la. Aku pon tanya la pasal itu dan ini. Last2 aku decide walk in je la. Tak yah nak tempah2 sebab hari rabu malam tu jek aku ngan papa free. Nak tunda sampai next week cam tak best plak. Aura birthday pon hilang la kan. So jadi dinner biasa je la. Bukan candlelight dinner.

Masa aku call papa dari office nak mention pasal dinner ni papa pon tanya la kat mana. Aku tak cakap. Yer la. Kalo cakap dah tak surprise lagik. On the way nak pegi pon papa tanya lagi kat mana. Papa memang tak sabar nak tau..! =p Kat babysitter aku cakap nak ambil ilham lambat sebab ada event kat Putra Palace. Babysitter tanya event macam hari tu ker. Actually aku penah ambil lambat sebab aku attend medical talk. Bler babysitter tanya aku senyum dan angguk je la. Cehh.. menipu!! Wakakaka.. ampunnn.. tak nak wat dah.

Malam tu we all makan western food. Papa makan chicken chop (macam biasa lah) aku plak order Pan Grilled Salmon. Da lama tak makan salmon wehh.. Bleh tahan lama gak nak tunggu diorang serve. Aku ni lapar tak hengat dahh..!! More than 20 minutes agaknya tunggu. Bler makanan da sampai tu terus makan tak pandang kanan kiri dah. That's why terlupa plak nak snap gambar makanan.

Seriously makanan dier tak best langsung. Aku bagi 1.5 stars jek. Salmon aku tasteless!! Lenkali picit lemon sket kasi masam2. Lemon pon tak provide. Isk..isk.. Papa punya chicken chop biasa jek. Tapi dianyer sauce aku suka gak la. Tapi papa prefer chicken chop Boomaq. Boomaq adalah satu lagi kedai yang serve western food yang ok kat Perlis ni. Opposite Masjid Kangar. tapi satu jek Boomaq ni. Western Food dier tak variety. Aku pon da boring ulang menu yang sama jek. Overall food malam tu tak best. Best lagik Darmiral's Grill. Aku memang recommend sangat Darmiral's Grill kat Bandar Perda, Penang. Menu dier banyak pilihan. So far tak penah mengecewakan aku la. Darmiral's Grill ni kat Alor Star ngan Sg Petani pon ada. Tapi kat dua-dua branch dier aku tak penah try lagik. Sepatutnya sama je la kan. But dun u expect that. Tukang masak lain2 kan. Macam2 rasa bleh jadi.

So papa.. Hopefully papa suka ngan surprise yang tak seberapa ni. Dah cuba cari hadiah lain untuk papa. Tapi tak jupe. Puas la round The Store Kangar tu. Papa pon tau macam mana kan barang2 kat situ. Mama tau papa suka hadiah yang bleh diguna bukan nyer perhiasan2 nih. Dats why mama decide candlelight dinner as a gift. But it turns to ordinary dinner. So pasnih kalo plan nak celebrate any special day ngan special dinner better pi sendiri situ tengok menu yang diorang ader. Kalo menu diorang tak best bleh cari tempat lain plak. Pastu kena mention gak dinner nih special. Nak camtu dan camni. Baru puas hati.

Untuk ilham. Sorry la yer. Nanti ilham da besar mama bawak ilham skali la celebrate birthday papa. Tapi kalo celebrate anniversary ilham kena tinggal la ek.

Untuk you all. Enjoy the picas.

Birthday card for papa. Yang biru tu dari ilham.
Yang kuning tu dari mama


Ilham tak pandai sign so dier cop kaki dier jek


The Putra Palace, Perlis


Papa dan coke float

Gambar aku tak der.. Yer la. Director mestilah keje belakang tabir jek. =p
on Friday, November 13, 2009
Where Moms Unite

Show me the money..!!
There's few interesting articles related to this topic that you can read at MOMBLOGERSPLANET.
Yes.. It's a community website for mommies. But it also suits for all. Yessss.. Everyone!!!

1) Turn Your Hobby Into An Internet Blogs That Makes Money

2) A Free Blog And Make Money Too

3) Make Money Blogging Using These 9 Powerful Strategies

4) Make Money Blogging

5) Ingredients For Work At Home Mom Success

6) The Sensible Way To Earn Money With Google Adsense

Ilham layan perasaan..

Actually aku amek cuti hari ni. Nak balik umah mak. Da sebulan lebih tak balik. Last balik time cuti Deepavali ari tu (7/10/09). Tak ke da sebulan tu. Mak aku pon da minta aku send gambar ilham thru email. Dah teringat sangat kat ilham la tu. Disebabkan papa kena viva students dier plus jaga exam hari ni so aku decide nak balik berdua ngan ilham jek. Tak bleh tangguh dah. Next week kenduri cijan plak so tak bleh balik gak. Kalo bertangguh nanti jadi 2 bulan plak tak balik. Aku pon cam da tingat sangat nak balik ni. Sib baik papa kasi. 1st time ni balik berdua jek ngan ilham. Letak ilham dalam carseat. Risau gak kalo ilham meragam kan. Kalo ilham meragam kena stop la kat mana2.

Memang ilham meragam pon. Bukan sekali. Tapi 2 kali. Sib baik 2 kali jek. Kalo berkali-kali mau nyer berjam-jam baru sampai umah. Padahal Perlis-Kulim tak sampai 2 jam pon kalo speeding. =p 1st ilham meragam masa kat area Pendang. Bangun tido jek terus nangis. R&R yang dekat Gurun ler. Jauh lagi tuh. So pujuk ilham sembang ngan dier then dier pon ok. Then aku decide memang kena stop la kt R&R Gurun. Mesti la ilham da bosan kan. Aku pon leh minum2 dulu. Kali kedua ilham meragam masa area Sg Petani. Nak dekat sampai dah. Lagi setengah jam jek. Tapi aku berenti gak kat R&R Tikam Batu. Ingatkan lepas susukan dier, dier akan ok. Elok2 keta moving jek dier bunyik plak. Sudah.. Aku pon kasi la dier main plastik. Aku tak tingat langsung nak bawak toys dier. Sebab aku assume dier akan enjoy naik keta macam selalu. Tapi selalu tu bertiga ngan papa. So aku leh entertain dier. Ni tak der orang entertain tu yang dier nak ngamuk tu..

Aku sampai Seberang Jaya around 10.30am. Bertolak around 8.30am dari Kangar. Kira ok la tu kan. Aku singgah jap kat Hospital Sbrg Jaya. Jupe kenkawan ngan staf kat situ. Diorang tak penah tengok ilham lagi. Lama gak aku kat situ. Sampai 12.30pm. Plan nak lunch ngan edd. Skali ilham meragam plak. Ngantuk sangat la tu. Mata pon tak larat nak angkat. Memang ilham tido pon masa on the way balik ke kulim.

Hopefully ni last la aku travel ngan ilham berdua. Ilham ni cepat boring. Kena ada orang entertain dia. Ngada yer anak mama ni. Gream btol. Gigit hidung tu baru tau.

on Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Actually bday papa ilham semalam 10/11/09. Tapi baru sekarang aku berkesempatan nak tulis entry ni. Sangat sebok ngn PTK exam. Lega exam da abes. Result fikir lenkali. Sekarang kita enjoy dulu..!!
Malam tu ingat nak kejut papa tepat kul 12 malam. Sekali aku tertido sampai pukul 1 lebih. Bler bangun rasa cian plak nak kejut papa yang nyenyak gler tido. Arround 2am masa aku tengah study tiba2 jek papa terjaga. Terus aku wish Happy Birthday.
Kad birthday yg aku beli sejak 24th Oct aku letak kat meja study papa (ingat tuuuu bler beli =p). Petang semalam lepas balik dari keje aku terus pi kedai kek amek kek yang aku tempah. Another surprise for him of course. Fenin nak pilih kek. Last2 amek tiramisu. Harap2 sedap la kan.
Actually got another surprise for papa. I'll blog about it later.

on Friday, November 6, 2009

Another contest to join.

Here picture of my baby MUHD ILHAM RAFIF B MOHD FHAIZAL

Cara-cara nak join contest ni:


1. Be a follower of http://mystory-noriza.blogspot.com/
2. Be a follower of http://jommainkutu.blogspot.com/
3. Put entry contest in your blog (sticky mode entry ya!) dengan gelagat anak anda yang paling ceria.
4. Copy the contest banner into the blog entry with the contest link in your entry http://mystory-noriza.blogspot.com/
5. Place the Contest banner in your sidebar with link back to the contest entry (no link back will be disqualified)
8. Leave a comment on this post (Anakku Ceria Give away Contest) for me to pick up the winner.
Syarat-syaratnya;
1.Terbuka kepada ibubapa yang mempunyai anak/anak sedara/ di bawah usia 24 bulan.
2. Satu contestant 1 entry sahaja
3. Contest bermula dari 22 October 2009 sehingga 22 November Nov 2009
4. Proses pemilihan pemenang akan dilakukan oleh juri-juri yang dilantik oleh penganjur.
4.Gambar pemenang akan dipamerkan di blog penganjur
5.Proses pemilihan pemenang oleh juri adalah muktamad

Tentang Hadiah pulak!Jeng jeng ini hadiahnya
* 1 Vantage Cookware 3.0L

1.Hanya 1 pemenang akan dipilih dan akan memenangi dan ditaja oleh http://jommainkutu.blogspot.com/
on Thursday, November 5, 2009
View iklan pon bleh dapat hadiah ker?
Dengan catcheye bleh.
Catcheye ni platform untuk pengiklanan secara online. Catcheye akan bagi reward point yg bleh ditukar dengan duit atau pon hadiah. Macam menarik je kan. Aku pon try la sign up.
For more info about catcheye click here.

p/s: Ada satu event diorang organize on 21st Nov ni kat Penang Time Square. Aku ni berbelas tahun membesar kat Penang tapi Penang Time Square ni aku tatau plak tang mana. Main lawan bantal ko. Fight For A Good Cause. Kira charity event la ni. Visit here for more info about this event.

on Wednesday, November 4, 2009
1st of all BIG THANX TO JIJI for this lovely gift. New header and background. I know i've mention it too many times. But i'll keep saying this. THANK YOU..THANK YOU!!
Baru menang header ni. Kalau menang 1st prize blog makeover mau nyer aku asyik pukul canang citer ni 7 hari 7 malam... wakakaka.. =p

Cani la rupa blog aku sebelum ni. Template Tic Tac by Blogger

Inilah perubahan yang aku sebut2 dari semalam. Care to comment??

Aku tau pasal jiji ni thru mombloggersplanet. Jiji bagi free mini me untuk mereka2 yg nominate mombloggersplanet dalam Contest Weblog Popular 1 Malaysia. Aku memang nak sangat dapat mini me free ni. Tapi asyik bertangguh jek buat entry untuk contest ni. Complicated nak wat entry untuk contest ni. Sebab tu la asyik bertangguh jek. End up dateline habes mcm tu ajer. Agak2 pasni ada lagi tak contest yg leh dapat mini me?? Hehehe..

Bila jiji wat contest blog makeover sempena housewarming umah baru dier aku dengan semangatnyer join. Macam besa lah. Kalo join apa2 contest tu mesti kepingin 1st prize. Sebab blog aku ni sangat2 la perlukan golden touch. hikhikk.. Tapi tengok2 rezeki aku hanya header jek. Gud enuff for me. Yer la. Header pon penting gak kay untuk tarik org baca contents. 1st impression gitu. Is it impress u all? Tak kisah la. Janji aku puas hati. Yang buat aku suka sangat sbb aku tak reti buat benda2 ni. Design header. Even nk tukar template baru guna free template pon aku tak reti. Poor me.. Hehehe.. Semua ni jiji yang buatkan. Asalnya free header jek. Tengok2 dia tolong touch up gak sket2 here and there. So inilah hasilnya. Fyi, I really adore creative work. Kalo korang suka bnda2 cantik dan kreatif or artwork korang bleh jenguk gak blog emila yusof. Hakikatnya aku tak kreatif macam diorang ni. Bleh tumpang cuci mata je la. Hehehe..

Pastu aku pon emel la jiji ciri2 header yg aku nak:

Ciri-ciri header yg menjadi kegilaan ku
1) simple (yours one is the best example)

2) ada love shape sana cni (well.. my blog kan its all about love)
3) ku suker sangat kaler pink, merah, hitam dan putih
selebihnya up to you ji.. coz sumer hasil kerja awak ku mmg admire


So guys. Share the joy with me. Welcome to my new house. New house ke. Actually umah lama gak. Cuma perhiasan jek baru. Langsir dan carpet baru. =)
on Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Baru jek dok mengarut pasal perubahan. Lepas ni akan ada satu perubahan yang berbloi-baloi. Tungguuuuuuuuu...

P/S: jiji.. segan nyer kt mu ji.. rumah ku ini sangat tak de pape..

You are in love and it feels wonderful. This love is different and you are prepared to do anything to make it last. To prevent this ship from sinking you work hard to steer this relationship into a safe harbor. In the process you lose yourself and your romantic relationship becomes all-consuming!

When Kyra fell head-over-heels for Dan she went out of her way to create a wonderful relationship. She found herself at hockey games, watching horror movies, at parties with his friends and on vacations with his family. At home, things were not much different. Kyra cooked his favorite meals, kept house the way he wanted and listened to music of his choice. On Dan’s advice, Kyra cut her hair short, wore less make-up and a conservative wardrobe. She had even given up her night classes, because they cut into their dinnertime. For Dan, this relationship was perfect. In an effort to not disappoint him, Kyra lived in constant anxiety. She had adapted to his lifestyle, defended his views and even began to talk like him. Kyra’s friends witnessed her change from a spirited and happy woman to a subdued and pleasing personality. This relationship had sucked the life out of Kyra, yet she was the last to notice.

While compromise in a relationship is a necessary ingredient for it’s success, denying the core of who you are is not. When you finally realize that an all-consuming relationship is depleting you, there will be nothing left but resentment. It will be difficult to reclaim yourself while remaining in that same relationship. The outcome of such a relationship is usually a heart-breaking crisis, with no one but you to blame.

The opposite of an all-consuming relationship is a half-hearted relationship. In this relationship you withhold affection until the evidence is in that the other is hooked. I love you, if you love me first has become a common trend. Fearing that you will give more love than you receive, you put your partner on probation and control the power in this relationship. You judge according to your expectations and keep track of his or her scores. The higher the scores, the more you are willing to reward with love. This conditional view creates tremendous emotional insecurity.

All-consuming or halfhearted relationships are very unnatural and unhealthy. Ironically, both types are guided by fear. In an all-consuming relationship, fear of not being loved is the driving force. In a halfhearted relationship, fear of being hurt prevents you from knocking down protective walls.

Is there a happy medium? To you love wholeheartedly without losing yourself requires a very different perspective of relationships. Even though you know that relationships require work, deep down you cling to a sweet illusion that meeting the right person is all it takes. You will then take off on your magic carpet ride. Think again! Soon that magic rug will be pulled from underneath you.

If you long for a partner who is wholeheartedly behind you, ask yourself, are you the same partner? Do you give that which you seek in your relationship? Ironically, many lack the qualities they seek in their partners. Listen to your heart and when it feels right, feel the fear and love anyway. Love without hesitation and with all you heart. Don’t let your fear of rejection and getting hurt kill your desires or steal your dreams. You may have stared in the face of love before. Maybe you “chickened-out.” Next time, don’t be a chicken!

If you are in a relationship of love, here is a universal truth: Love is choice and if you choose it wholeheartedly, you are never going to lose it. Love teaches you to become a better human being. Restore your faith in love and become emotionally available to each other. Put your fears and your past behind you and become lovable by being loving. Learn to trust by trusting yourself. Surrendering to love does not mean losing yourself. Yet, even when it is safe to open your heart, you may feel weakened by the anxiety that this love will disappear.

When in love, how do you preserve your identity and course in life? Here is the number one reason for losing yourself in a relationship: Your belief that love is something you either deserve or not! Your misguided belief leads you to counterproductive efforts to do almost anything to get love and even more to hold onto it:

You modify your identity to gain approval and love from your partner. You hold back intimacy to protect your vulnerability. You have a need to manipulate your partner. There is nothing you have to be, or do, to earn love. When it is love, there is very little you can do to destroy it. If you can believe that, you will accept that:

You can be loved even if you are not perfect You can be loved while keeping your course in life You can be loved without getting lost in love Love is the most powerful human lesson you are ever to learn. It is a purposeful interdependence through which you become so much more than on your own. Once you can understand that love is not something to be found, rather it is in you to be shared, you can love wholeheartedly without fear. Don’t turn your back on love every time it touches you, because when you give up on love you give up on yourself.

© Allie Ochs 2005

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About The Author

Allie Ochs is a speaker, relationship coach and author of: Are You Fit to Love? Her book has received the honorable mention at the USA 2004 Best Book Awards. She has appeared on TV, Radio and is published in numerous magazines and newsletters. Visit her website www.fit2love.com and take the Fit 2 Love test. allie@fit2love.com

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PENDAPAT AKU


You can be loved even if you are not perfect You can be loved while keeping your course in life You can be loved without getting lost in love
(Last paragraph)

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I totally disagree with this statement. Tak semua orang boleh menerima kekurangan partner dia seadanya. Semua orang sedikit sebanyak akan terganggu dengan kekurangan partner dia. Tipu la wehh kalo tak de. =p Bagi aku yang paling penting sejauh mana kita boleh tolerate dengan kekurangan partner kita. Tolerance tu la yang membuktikan kasih sayang yang tak berbelah bahagi terhadap pasangan kita. Berubah untuk kebaikan bagi aku tak salah. Change for the sake of relationship. Why not? Tapi kalo berubah sampai hilang identiti sendiri itu bukanlah sebaik2nya. Hey.. come on. Kalo seseorang tu sanggup berubah apa lagi la maksudnya kalo bukan sebab sayang. Betol tak?? Dan apa plak ganjaran yang sebaik2nya untuk orang yg sanggup berubah yer?? Penghargaan of course! Oooo please.. Nak buat perubahan bukan senang kay. Macam aku nak ubah habit staf aku supaya sign di belakang prescription bukan kat depan prescription Mudah jek kan. Tapi kim salam. Sampai sekarang macam tu jugaklah. Time orang datang audit pandai plak nak ikut procedure. So, bukan senang nak berubah. Tapi tak susah kalo kita willing nak berubah. Yup.. it will takes time. But the most important thing is the acceptance. How u react to the changes. How u appreciate it.

Apa la yg aku merapu ni. Sori. Buang masa korang je baca.. Juz my 2 cents.

on Monday, November 2, 2009
Aku sangat memerlukan jasa baik korang sumer untuk vote anak aku dalam CUTE BABY CONTEST anjuran littlewhiz ni.

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